How?

How?  How, Lord, do You do this?  How do You love with that pure, tender heart bursting with the greatest love?  A love so unimagined and inconceivable to our human mind?  How do You look upon all the pain in your children's lives?  Is it simply absorbed into that infinite love that is You?  I doubt it.  I think because Your love is so pure, so perfect, the pain is even truer, sharper, more poignant. I believe we, in all our broken humanness, know nothing of Your pain, nor will we ever. 

When I look upon the pain of a dear loved one, I cannot help but think of the pain You must feel; of all the needless pain we have caused Your magnificent heart.  How, no matter how You love us, pursue us, and woo us, we have still given You infinitely more hurt, than we ever have love.

And yet.....there You are!  Oh, Lord, I do love You so!  I do need You so!  I do trust You so!  In the very center of the most horrible storms, I have only You to cling to and it is there that I feel Your comfort, Your warmth, Your love, despite the other feelings that wash over me, Your crazy love for me always overshadows it all.  Thank You!!!  A million times, thank You!!

I sit here today watching this sweet blessing, this incredible gift of a girl You brought into my life seven years ago.  She hurts Lord.  She misses her parents, siblings, and family.  She just wants to go home and have Thanksgiving.  She doesn't want a lot.  She just wants a tiny bit of what others call 'mundane.' Playing with her cousins, running cars on the floor, jumping on the trampoline, teasing each other, hugging too hard, this is what she wants to do.  She doesn't really get why all this is happening, but she doesn't complain.  She will tell you she's scared and ask to not take a med or have a procedure, but then will just go on and get through it.....because she trusts us.  

Lord, please help all of us, every single person, to trust You like she trusts us. To listen to You even when we are terrified; to follow You, even when the path ahead seems dark and treacherous; to love You no matter what. 

That is my solemn, heartfelt prayer today, Father!  That, and a sincere gratefulness for this child.  I will stand before You so thankful for every single second You grant us with her.  And because of Your love and sacrifice, I will also get to spend eternity with her.

Thank You for that!!

  ~kathy